Manchurian Candidate

Yesterday I watched the Manchurian Candidate, a movie about a heartless woman able to do the most horrible things to reach her goal: bring her husband, a senator, to the White House.

Sometimes I find just funny where some people decide to advertise…

Soccer in Venus

My University, taking into consideration the enormous health advantages of gyms and saunas, has developed the idea behind both concepts in order to melt (this is the right word) them and design the healthy temple of the future. This new facility resembles a gym in terms of equipment at the same time that offers a comfortable temperature of 90 degrees (Celsius, of course). Fortunately, the budget is large enough so they will be able to keep burning money during at least the whole winter season. Join us and feel the experience of playing soccer in Venus right next to Chicago.

PrtSc

Let me introduce you the inventor of the “PrtSc” key (short for Print Screen because to write the whole thing would require three keys) only a few moments before the brilliant idea occurred to him:

My roommate’s girlfriend offered to buy him a PlayStation for his birthday but he refused. You can draw two conclusions: she is the best girlfriend you can dream of and he is the worst roommate since Jack the Ripper. Now, he knows what he must do if he wants me to start talking to him and stop wooing his girlfriend.

Por 23 pesetas, cosas que tienen en comun politicos y presos.

Teoria de los colores

- I: Mi pelo es castaño.

- N: Se dice “marron”; “castaño” es un termino que solo utilizan gays y peluqueros.
- A: Coincido con N, aunque especificar a los peluqueros es algo redundante.

At the University’s webpage, I found an advertisement that led me to the following facebook event:

He might not be a romantic, but this JP Morgan guy knows how to pick up girls nowadays.

Nowadays there are 27 million slaves in the world. This number is far too large for the 21st century where most of the population is aware and against slavery. Their labor union should make efforts to reduce the number of slaves attaining this way a wage rise in the sector.

I believe I am already thinking as a consultant.

The chromatic variety of the burkas has very little to do with fashion and it obeys a practical matter: it allows a husband to identify his set of wives in the street. More a less like in Parchis.

After working for a few years as an investment banker, he went insane and tried to kidnap his boss.
Now he is in jail finally enjoying what he was looking for: some free time.

No tenim ni idea de quan l’AVE arribara a la frontera amb Franca, per sembla que les obres ja han arribat a Egipte!

Alimentos Biologicos

Titular en El Periodico:

Y lo ilustra/demuestra con el siguiente “grafico”:

Although analysts are afraid of the term crisis, the continuous depreciation that the dollar is experimenting over the last two years has already led to an exchange rate crisis. In order to corroborate this you only need to go to the supermarket in the corner. The situation is so dramatic that you no longer can find the most essential food on the shelves. I hope this whole situation will be solved soon because otherwise I will be forced to immigrate to another country where they still sell Nutella.

“An idea that it is generated in a nanosecond might need a year to be
properly formalized”

My advisor, involuntarily convincing me that what I need is a coauthor.

Version española:

La mayoria de los argentinos quieren ser españoles. Yo se lo concederia; solo un español hasta la medula puede desear ser español.

Versión argentina:

Substituir “español” por “gallego”.

In a job interview:

- Which are your greatest weaknesses?
- I have only two: brunettes and assessing the right time to make a joke.

Tempted?

Can you think of a better prize: having lunch at McDonalds every single day for an entire year?

I don’t know much about surveys and biases, but I wouldn’t generalize any inference made from people who gives a positive value to that particular price.

People complain because trains are late 10% of the times. I complain because 90% of the times they aren't.

When you run out of Greek letters all you can spell is: fuck this paper!

It hurts when you realize you forgot the birthday of your most beloved one, but it hurts even more when your most beloved one forgets your birthday.

There are no words for describing how I felt the day I realized I had forgotten my own birthday…

Free at last!

Although it might seem a contradiction, I finally got my life back after today’s proposal! It was one of the worst experiences in my life and I swore I won’t go through it never again in this life or any other one.

After spelling “hypochondriac” correctly at the first attempt, I deserve a short vacation.

It is incredible how something as banal as a TV show can affect some people’s life in such a transcendental way like conditioning their future professional careers. TV shows about lawyers filled law schools of Ally-McBeals-wannabes, CSI is making almost any teenager want to become Grissom and shows about doctors (like House) are crowding hospitals of hypochondriacs.

You know you are traveling really far when it doesn’t even matter the direction you head off.

Lichtenstein

Today I went to see Roy Lichtenstein’s exhibition at the Block Museum. It features more than 75 art works from the prominent pop artist and it becomes immediately patent that it must worth a fortune (in printer cartridges).

That doesn't count?

Global Warming is not as bad as they try to make us believe. The thing is that they only emphasize the negative aspects of it and, sometimes, those might be offset by the ignored positive ones. For instance, it might be true that, with the rise of the sea level, a few millions of people will have to leave their houses and move inland; but hey, all the rest of us, the vast majority, will live closer to the beach!